I Have A Voice

When will the society understand people with disabilities have a voice? That’s a question that is a pet peeve of mine. Day after day, I am trying to speak about how I feel. Most people don’t want to listen to me. I feel when most people hear me speak; they think I don’t know what I’m talking about. When they stop and listen to my voice, they realize how intelligent I am. I want the society to know I have a voice and it should be heard.

 

For many years, I was taught to keep my feelings to myself. As I got older, I was tired of feeling “shut in”. I started speaking up about my feelings; I saw the society wasn’t listening to me. Even though time has change over the years, people with disabilities are almost getting the same respect as anyone else. I feel the society can stop and listen to the voices of people with disabilities. Maybe people with disabilities will feel more accepting to the society. I know I would have. I am not just speaking for myself; I am speaking for ALL the people with disabilities who can’t speak for themselves. I have a voice and it should be heard.

My Favorite Quotes II

I was thinking of some of my favorite people and I want to share some more of my favorite quotes.  

(1.) A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus. Martin Luther King Jr.

(2.) Discrimination is a hellhound that gnaws at Negroes in every waking moment of their lives to remind them that the lie of their inferiority is accepted as truth in the society dominating them. Martin Luther King Jr.

(3.) Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Martin Luther King Jr.

(4.) Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. Martin Luther King Jr.

(5.) I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.  Martin Luther King Jr.

(6.) I have a dream. Martin Luther King Jr.

(1.) I think the reason I am here is to inspire African-American women who are rappers, full-figured women to know that they can do it too. Queen Latifah

(2.) I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences… I’m human, not perfect, like anybody else. Queen Latifah

(3.) To be honest with you, all my life I’ve been in a battle to overcome my fears. I’ve had to take that chance with everything I’ve done, from riding my bike down that driveway, to skateboarding, to soccer, to every sport I every tried out for. Queen Latifah

(4.) For me, it might sound cliche, but beauty for me really does start on the inside. It’s like a state of mind, a state of love if you will. Then, whatever you can do on the outside is all like a bonus. Queen Latifah

(5.) I never limit myself to supposedly typical female roles, let alone African-American female ones. Neither does my agent or my partner slash manager. So, when they’re out there looking for stuff, they’re looking for good pieces of work. Good ideas, not just a role for a black female. Queen Latifah

(1.) Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can practice any virtue erratically, but nothing consistently without courage. Maya Angelou

(2.) I believe that every person is born with talent. Maya Angelou

(3.) I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

(4.) If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain. Maya Angelou

(5.) My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. Maya Angelou

(1.) take responsibility for yourself because no one’s going to take responsibility for you. Tyra Banks

(2.) Black women don’t have the same body image problems as white women. They are proud of their bodies. Black men love big butts. Tyra Banks

(3.) Black women have always been these vixens, these animalistic erotic women. Why can’t we just be the sexy American girl next door? Tyra Banks

(4.) I just want you to be yourself. Be a bigger yourself. Tyra Banks

(5.) Every woman has a story. Tyra Banks

My Favorite Quotes

When I get little down, I try to bring my spirits up. I want to share some of my favorite quotes. I hope these quotes will put a smile on your face.

(1.)  My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. Oprah Winfrey

(2.)  I think that when you invite people to your home, you invite them to yourself. Oprah Winfrey

(3.)  Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.  Oprah Winfrey

(4.)  As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around. Oprah Winfrey

(5.)  I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we’re not wise enough to see it.  Oprah Winfrey

(1.)  Never bend your head.  Always hold it high.  Look at the world straight in the eye. Helen Keller

(2.)  All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming. Helen Keller

(3.)  Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. Helen Keller

(4.)  Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. Helen Keller

(5.)  It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui. Helen Keller

Helen Keller’s Magnet

(1.)  I am where I am because I believe in all  possibilities. Whoopi Goldberg

(2.)  Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine Whoopi Goldberg

(3.)  What I am is a humanist before anything — before I’m a Jew, before I’m black, before I’m a woman. And my beliefs are for the human race — they don’t exclude anyone. Whoopi Goldberg

(4.)   We’re here for a reason. I believe a bit of the reason is to throw little torches out to lead people through the dark. Whoopi Goldberg

(5.)  Normal is in the eye of the beholder. Whoopi Goldberg

 

(1.)  The times may have changed, but the people are still the same. We’re still looking for love, and that will always be our struggle as human beings. Halle Berry

(2.)  I understand now that ’special love’ exists between two people when the passions lie beneath the surface. Halle Berry

(3.)  I think it’s always best to be who you are. Halle Berry

(4.)  Blackness is a state of mind and I identify with the black community. Mainly, because I realized, early on, when I walk into a room, people see a black woman, they don’t see a white women. So out of that reason alone, I identify more with the black community. Halle Berry

Internet Love

When I bought my first laptop, I wanted to be able to reach out to the world. It was hard for me to make friends because of my disability. So I thought I could make friends on the internet and not worry about what people thought of me. As time went on, I learned most people on the internet are just like people in real life. Most of them pretend to be your friend until they get tired of you.

After 6 months of being on the internet, I kept my heart save from being hurt by people who didn’t care about “the real Liz”. I started to play games like most of the people on the internet will do. I did not like playing games with them because I knew how it feels to be played. So when I thought I could trust someone online, I let my guard down and told them about the real Liz. Most of them appreciated me being so honest with them. The other half of people who I were chatting to, did not want anything to do with me. I could not figure out if they were mad at me because I told a lie about who I really am or if they were mad because I said I have a disability.

Seven years later, I found a lesbian chat room. I felt like I finally found a place I can go to and be myself. My first week in that chat room was interesting. Most women talked to me and didn’t care about my disability. I made a few friends in that chat room and I am glad I had a chance to meet them face to face.

There was this one woman who stood out than all of the rest. I used to love when she comes in the chat room and say, “Hello Lizzy.” My heart would always skip a beat as I said hello back to her. After a couple of months, I realize I started to have feelings for her. I didn’t know what to do because I wasn’t looking for love over the internet. I tried so many times and it never worked out. A year later, I finally confess my feelings to this woman who I could not stop thinking about. I have learned that she felt the same for me.

In conclusion, most people have good and bad things to say about the internet. I have learned most people on the internet can be trusted. Most people can find love anywhere if they are not looking. I have found my love on the internet. She is my best friend I ever had.

This is dedicated to my soulmate, I love you!

The Deep Black Pain

I was lying in bed in the dark feeling really bad. I am trying to figure out why most people blame me for what they do. I never thought I would feel this bad again but I do. As I lay in bed in the darkness crying, I thought about this poem I started but I couldn’t finish it.

The pain inside is so deep.
Like a deep hole with blackness all around it.
There’s a long rope inside of the hole.
You are in it and holding on to the rope very tightly.
You feel helpless, And you don’t see any way out.
The more you hang on to the rope,
The more you feel it breaking little by little.
You feel yourself dying.
Day by day in the deep black hole, You feel alone.
You are trying to hold on as long as you can.
The pain is getting deeper and deeper.
You can see the rope breaking faster.
The pain is hurting you so much…
As you try to hold on another day.

After I wrote this poem, the bad feelings I had inside of me isn’t so bad now. Seeing the words on paper made me realize I can get through the deep black pain and see light at the other end of hole. That light is my guardian angel lifting me up from the hole.

Becoming A Writer

 One of these days, I will write a famous  book. I haven’t always wanted to be a writer. In fact before I decided to be a writer, I didn’t know what to do with my life. I used to have a book that I was writing. I had that book for eight years and one day it was gone. That didn’t stop me becoming a writer. I was more determined to become a writer.

When I was in the sixth grade at Bowling Green Elementary, my teacher, Donna Wheaton, had the class writing stories. I used to get so damn mad when we had to write a story. Donna always told me I write well and I have a very good imagination. I used to try so hard not be to write. Sometimes I used to tell Donna I had to use the rest room when it was time to write a story. 

That summer, I would stay home doing nothing. My mom would always tell me to write to keep myself busy. I would sit at the dining room table with a piece of paper and a pencil. I couldn’t think of anything to write. My sister Judy saw me and told me to write about something I know. When she told me that, I started writing about Michael Jackson and his family. I used to be crazy about the Jacksons. The whole summer I wrote short stories about the  Jacksons.

When school started again, I took every story I wrote to school to show Donna. Donna couldn’t believe that I wrote ten long stories. Everybody read my stories and always asked me if I want to be a writer. I always told them I hated writing. Of course nobody did not believed me. Since then I knew had some talent. Before I graduated from grade school, I told Donna I wanted to be a famous writer. She was so happy that she almost started crying. Donna said I probably will be a famous writer.  

In my second year at Luther Burbank High School, I entered in a writing contest for Black Women Week. I wrote about my sister, Judy. A few weeks later, I found out I didn’t win. I was so disappointed and told myself I would not enter another writing contest again.

A year later, The Black Women History Week contest came around again. My teacher, Gary Irwin, asked me if I wanted to enter the contest again. I said I didn’t want to. He didn’t say anything but he did put the information about the contest on my desk. I stared at it for a long time. The next morning, I told my teacher I wanted to enter the contest again. It was like he knew that I would decide to enter the contest. 

For two months, I was writing about my other sister Kitty. After I was finish and sent the story in. A few weeks later, the principal told me I won second place. I was so surprised that I told everybody I knew. After high school, I knew that someday I will be a famous writer. When I do become famous, I will thank my grade school teacher, Donna Wheaton.

The One I Love

There is a hand
I love to hold,
Two eyes I love to see.
There is a voice
I love to hear
That means the world to me.
There is a heart
That understands
What I am dreaming of….
And all of these
Belongs to you,
The wonderful one I love.

This Poem is dedicated to my best friend

A Sister’s Love

There is a lot of love in the world,
But there’s nothing like a sister’s love.
The love you and your sister share is so deep.
It’s so deep that nobody can take it away.
A sister is a friend…
Who listen to your deepest secrets.
And understand what you went and going through now.
A sister is there holding your hand…
When life seems hopeless.
A sister loves you for who you are…
Not what you do.
No matter where you are,
You will always have your sister’s love.

The Door To Pain

When you are a child, you are taught to keep quiet. It doesn’t really matter to you because you don’t know why at that time. You feel it will pass as you grow up.  As you grow older, you realize it is not a game anymore. You also realize it is wrong to speak out how you feel. So you are going through life feeling scared and lonely. You feel like if someone found out about your wants and needs, they will make you feel like you wish you were dead like closing a door without the key. That is how you build yourself a door, the door to pain.

Even though you are going through life with the door protecting you from the world, you wish you or someone else had the key to unlocking the door. You want to feel happy. Sometimes, you felt like breaking the door down by yourself.  You are scared to open it because you feel like someone might close the door on you.

One day, a woman comes into your life and tries to be friends with you. The woman saw the door between you two and wanted to see what was on the other side. You felt the woman knocking on the door but you pretended you couldn’t hear the woman. The more the woman knocked on the door, the more the woman couldn’t get through to you. You didn’t know why the woman was so determined to come through the door. You feel like if the woman does, will you have to close the door forever? As time went on, the woman talked to you through the door. She told you some things that a woman normally wouldn’t say hear from a woman. You felt so comfortable listening to the woman that you wanted to open the door.

The one thing the woman taught you was you had the key with you all the time. You felt so scared when you heard that and you didn’t understand. The woman told you it was ok to open the door at anytime and the world wouldn’t hurt you. 

Day by day, the woman stood by the door waiting for you to open it. If you decided to come out, you will see how much the woman really cares. It was so hard for you to listen to the woman reaching out to you and you didn’t know how to respond.

The woman kept on saying you have the key. You kept on listening and listening to the woman. You felt so tired of listening and you wanted to tell the woman how you feel.

You started banging and banging on the door letting the woman know you wanted out. You started screaming and screaming for help. All of a sudden, a teardrop fell down your cheek. The woman didn’t say anything to you as more tears came down. You didn’t know what was happening to you as the door opened. All of the things you learned as a child disappeared with the tears. The tears were the key to the door, the key to unlocking the pain.

This is a true story!

Living With A Disability

Certain experiences have caused me to become the way I am today. I was born with Cerebral Palsy. Cerebral Palsy is not a disease, but is characterized by nerve and muscle disfunction. It is caused by damage to the part of the brain that control and coordinates muscular action. My disability has caused me to stutter when I speak, feel differently when I meet new people, and it causes me to think about myself in a negative way. I don’t like letting people see me with my disability. I think they won’t accept me for who I am. I don’t think very much of myself because of the way I look. I find it very hard to talk about my disability. 

My biggest problem is my stuttering. I don’t like to talk because of it. When I stutter, I get scared and nervous. I also get embarrassed when I stutter. Sometimes, I stutter telling someone my name. I don’t like people hearing me stutter. I try not to talk in a group because I know I will stutter. I just don’t stutter around new people, I stutter around my family and friends. My friends have gotten use to my stuttering. I also lost some friends because of my stuttering. That’s why I am so shy too. My family didn’t really know about my stuttering until I got into high school.

Meeting new people is very hard with my disability. When I meet someone for the first time, I feel they won’t like me. I also feel uncomfortable because I feel left out. I think that they will not want to talk to me because of my chair. I get shy because I have to tell them my name. Meeting new people makes me feel scared, jumpy, and nervous. Sometimes, I think people talk to me because their friends talk to me. Sometimes, I feel like I am being ignored when meeting new people.

I don’t like the way I look because of my disability. I feel my chair gets in the way when people are around me. When people are around me, I feel left out because of my disability. Sometimes, I get depressed because of my disability. I think I’m not pretty enough to meet people. Most people take me for granted because of my disability. They think I don’t have a brain or feelings. I feel that I have to prove to people that I do have a brain and feelings like everyone else does.

In conclusion, I hope someday that people will realize people with disabilities have feelings too. Meeting new people makes me feel very uncomfortable because of my stuttering and shyness. But I have started to over come that. I try not to worry about what people say or think. I had to realize some people would not be friends with me because of my disability. At least I know that the friends I have now are my good friends. My friends helped me to realize that I should believe in myself. I have rights like anyone else in this world. I went through a painful time in my life and still do today, but it is not as bad now.